Has it ever happened to you that you’ve been afraid to feel your fear? What do you do in those moments?
Sometimes fear of feeling my fear is enough to get me to distract myself, look away, ignore it or simply run and hide. And I don’t even know what it is that I’m afraid of yet!
A few days ago, as I was packing my bags to leave Spain, I picked up my towel from the window and noticed that something was pinching a large fold in it from the side I couldn’t see.
With lightning reflexes I threw the towel across the room, briefly glimpsing a large brown ‘something’ the size of a golf ball attached to it. Too scared to even find out what it was, I left the towel on the ground and tried to distract myself by turning my back to it and continuing to pack my bag, hoping it would somehow disappear.
To my relief my friend walked into the room a few minutes later. “Marcus” I said, “would you do me a huge favour and shake that towel out outside for me? I think there might be a giant spider or scorpion clung to it”. Gingerly he picked it up and brought it outside. I heard him shake it once, twice… a pause…
“…Jocelyn, do you want to come and see what it is?”
“Is it something scary?”
“Just come and look.”
With my hands clenched to my chest, my chin wanting to disappear into my neck and preparing for the worst, I peaked around the door to see him holding a brown object out to me in his hand… my hair clip.
When fear-stories start to take on a life of their own and I’m losing myself in worst-case scenarios, I’m so grateful to have someone there who can help me come back to presence and find the courage to look at it for what it is.
Sometimes I realise that there was nothing really to worry about (as in finding out it was just my hairclip!); my suffering was based on an illusion. And other times I’ve found that a part of me is really overstretched or struggling to deal with change and desperately needing to be held, reassured and supported. With some empathic presence, I often find a way to hold myself with more compassion and strength and find creative ways to support my inner world.
What would it be like to develop a more compassionate relationship with your fear? Would you like to find a way to transform it without it taking you over? I would love to support you in finding that strength and clarity – book yourself a session with me today!